The following section presents excerpts from an Executive Summary of a Final Technical Report on a new conference registration system created by a software development team in Qatar. The developers believe that the innovative features of their new system make it superior to its competitors. However, their clients (the Qatar National Convention Center) did not find the Executive Summary and Report convincing enough. In the challenges that follow, try to consider the options presented so that the developers can make the most effective case for their audience.

Directions: Identify and improve text that can make the report more effective, in terms of its coherence, concision, and correctness.

Challenge 5: Combing Correctness and Coherence

Your Goals

1. using punctuation to break up ideas

2.connectingold and new information in a seamless manner

Comments on Response Options

Problem Text

Exporting the registration forms saves time.Therefore, the system can save the amount of time spent processing registration forms.

Option A

“Exporting the registration forms saves time; therefore, the system can save time processing them.”

This option uses a semi-colon, which highlights the connection between exporting and processing forms.

Option B

“Exporting the registration forms saves time. The system, therefore, saves time processing them.”

This option uses “therefore” in the middle of a sentence to establish a causal connection between the two sentences, and would be effective and more appropriate if the purpose was to make an unexpected point for the audience about the connection between exporting and time-saving.

Option C

“Exporting the registration forms saves time: therefore, the system can save on the amount of time spent processing registration forms."

This option is quite concise, but uses a colon, which signals an upcoming series. Because there is no upcoming series, the colon here disconnects the ideas and would be more appropriate for a very condensed document.