The following presents excerpts from a Technical Components section of a Final Technical Report on a new conference registration system created by a software development team in Qatar. The developers believe that the innovative features of their new system make it superior to its competitors. However, their clients (the Qatar National Convention Center) did not find the Executive Summary and Report convincing enough. In the challenges that follow, try to consider the options presented so that the developers can make the most effective case for their audience.

Directions: Identify and improve text that can make the report more effective, in terms of its parallelism, coherence, and concision.

Challenge 5: Combining Coherence and Concision

Your Goals

1. connecting old and new information in a seamless manner

2. cutting out unnecessary (repeated or implied) information

Comments on Response Options

Problem Text

The cancan gem authorizes users in the system. It provides an authorization library that authorizes users in the system and determines the different access privileges of different users.

Option A

“through its authorization library, which determines the access privileges of different users.”

This option makes the most obvious connection between authorizing, library, and determining access privileges. It also cuts out the most implied information such as “it provides...that authorizes users in the system.”

Option B

“through its authorization library which is used to determine the different access privileges of different users.”

Like the option above, this option makes an obvious connection between authorizing, library, and determining access privileges, but it includes “different, “ which is implied.

Option C

“Its authorization library is used to determine the different access privileges of different users.”

This option makes no connection between authorizing and library; therefore, it is difficult to understand how the authorization library is fits here.