The following section presents excerpts from a review on a Revolutionary Game Console technology created by a consultant hired by a game console company in Qatar. The consultant seeks to report customer issues with the technology for the company to see. However, the company hoped the report could have been more descriptive, direct, and concise . In the challenges that follow, try to consider the options presented so that the developers can make the most effective case for their audience. Directions:
Identify and improve text that can make the report more effective, in terms of its metadiscourse, nominalizations, and concision.

Challenge 5: Combining Metadiscourse and Concision

Your Goals

1. Make comments showing descriptions and connections, and showing degrees of certainty and directness

2. Cutting out unnecessary (already-known, implied or repeated) information

Comments on Response Options

Problem Text

Quality Attributes Raised Marketability: This post addresses the marketability of the console, and that it is not able to compete with other consoles currently on the market. The user reported that the games are similar to mobile-based games. Users expect to see more interactive games, rather than mobile-based games.

Option A

"The user feels that this game console is not marketable because compared with mobile-based game console competitors, it is not unique; it is expected to be more interactive."

This option is concise and incorporates descriptive and connecting comments (“user feels,” and “because”) and an intensifier (“expected”) to emphasize why the console is not marketable. This would be appropriate either for an audience familiar or unfamiliar with the topic.

Option B

"The user feels that this game console cannot compete with other consoles because compared with mobile-based game consoles, it is not unique; it is expected to be more interactive."

This option is similar to the first option, but it is slightly less concise and more descriptive, which places emphasis on the console’s marketability. This would be more appropriate for an audience less familiar with the topic.

Option C

"The user feels that this game console is not marketable because it is not unique from its competitors: mobile-based game consoles."

This option is most concise and least descriptive; It does not explain why the console is not unique from mobile-based game consoles. This would therefore work well for an audience more familiar with the topic.