The following section presents excerpts from a proposal on Edocs, an online environment for collaborating, created by a research team in Qatar. One of the team members believes Edocs facilitates collaboration among professional groups working from different countries. However, their clients (Qatar Foundation researchers) did not find the proposal confident or convincing enough. In the challenges that follow, try to consider the options presented so that the developers can make the most effective case for their audience.

Directions:
Identify and improve text that can make the report more effective, in terms of its metadiscourse, nominalizations, and concision.

Challenge 3: Being Concise

Your Goal:

Cutting out unnecessary (already known, implied or repeated) information

Concision Example:

Less concise:

The goal in having students complete this activity is to show them how concision has the potential to make communication more effective.

More Concise:

The purpose of this activity is to show how concision can make communication more effective.

Comments on Response Options:

Problem Text

Teams typically collaborate over email differently from meetings in person: they communicate by exchanging tasks over email, whereas in meetings, they can look at the same task in real time.

Option A

"they exchange tasks over email,"

This is a concise option that places emphasis on the team’s actions. This is appropriate if your purpose is to emphasize xthis.

Option B

"they work on tasks over email,"

This is also concise and it places less emphasis on collaboration among team members. This would be appropriate if your purpose is to emphasize the type of teamwork more than the idea of teamwork itself.

Option C

"they communicate over email,"

This is also concise and places less emphasis on both the team’s actions and the idea of teamwork itself. This would be appropriate for an argument that is not focusing on teamwork.