The following section presents excerpts from a review on a Revolutionary Game Console technology created by a consultant hired by a game console company in Qatar. The consultant seeks to report customer issues with the technology for the company to see. However, the company hoped the report could have been more descriptive, direct, and concise . In the challenges that follow, try to consider the options presented so that the developers can make the most effective case for their audience. Directions:
Identify and improve text that can make the report more effective, in terms of its metadiscourse, nominalizations, and concision.

Challenge 2: Avoiding Nominalizations

Your Goal

Avoid nominalizations to make the tone more certain and direct

Avoiding Nominalizations

1. Not protecting the person or thing associated with the negativity in negative situations

More Protection

Let us know if there are issues with the activity’s usability.

Less Protection

Let us know if the activities are not working properly.

2. Being certain or direct or showing emphasis

Less Certain

In this activity, your goal is to sound more direct.

More Certain

In this activity, you aim to sound more direct.

Less Emphasis

It did not take a lot of time for one student to get through the activities.

More Emphasis

One student went through the activities quickly.

Comments on Response Options

Problem Text

Quality Attributes Raised: Usability, Security:The user made a report that many games had problems with usability, especially with clogged screens from pop up ads, promoting in-game products. The user found this distracting and frustrating.

Option A

"The user reported that pop up ads, promoting in-game products, were clogging many of the screens."

This option untangles some nominalizations to highlight the customer’s experience, which also places the most emphasis the pop up ad issue. This would be appropriate if your purpose is to quickly get to your point.

Option B

"The user reported that many of the screens were clogged with popup ads that were promoting in-game products."

This option untangles nominalizations to identify this report as a customer’s experience and directly describe the pop up ad issue. This option is slightly less direct than the first option, but would help you get to your point quickly.

Option C

"The user’s report noted that pop up ads, supporting the promotion of in-game products, were clogging the screens"

This option keeps nominalizations that make it the least direct description of the problem. It takes the emphasis off of the customer’s experience itself and the purpose of the pop up ads. This would work well in a context where you are not describing an issue that needs to be focused on.